MacJesus, Your Personal Savior On A Floppy Disk
Published: Friday, 28th July 2017
Sometimes you come across a piece of software from Times Of Yore that really makes you stop and boggle at the insanity of it. And MacJesus is one of those games!
This will just be a quick article but I had to share it with the world, as it’s just too whacky not to!
MacJesus is a HyperCard “game” programmed by Robert Carr/Lamprey Systems, and released in 1991. It is a Jesus Simulator”, I guess, but if Jesus were a profane, truculent, chain-smoking thug. I found this buried away on the Macintosh Garden and, boy!, it blew my mind when I ran it. Give it a whirl and see for yourself, I have placed it in the Internet Archive’s Macintosh Emulator so you can now commit blasphemy in-browser from the comfort of your computer chair!
Something that I thought was really amusing about this is the error message that is displayed if you try to launch it with HyperCard 2:
Having a look around Google for some backstory on this weird game revealed that Robert Carr has form for releasing wildly offensive games onto the Macintosh (and I’ll be returning to look at his repellant oeuvre in a future article), not least of all the followup to MacJesus; MacJesus ProGold!
This a very similar game, but programmed as its own app rather than a HyperCard stack. Released in 1995, I was actually quite surprised that it runs so well in the Archive’s emulator. Give it a go, it’s got a pretty neat soundtrack, and the novel inclusion of a simulated 56K modem to dial-up the Big Man in the sky.
Like I said; whacky!